Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
