i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Even my vagina gasped.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
