Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
