I heard we made out
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
