Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
