i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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