My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
