Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
