It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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