Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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