I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
