3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
