I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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