I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
