I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
