I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
