My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
