my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
