Your tits are I can't wait for
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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