Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
time to smoke my breakfast
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
