I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
