i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
