Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
