I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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