Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
