Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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