good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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