omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
