omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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