The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
