I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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