you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
