I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
