mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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