someone get that fucking seahorse.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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