I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
