By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
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