Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
