It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
