I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
