Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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