I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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