So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
