Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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