i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
