She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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