Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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