Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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