I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
