no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
